One Meme Discussing Three More Things You Probably Shouldn't Tell a Trans Person (But People Do Anyway)

Happy Pride everyone!

This is a sequel to one of the very first blog posts I ever wrote! Unfortunately, drawing from this well is never a fun experience. Well, getting asked the questions (or told the statements) isn't fun. I always have fun here. That's kind of my thing. My joy comes from a deeper place (as I hope yours does too). But without further ado, let's jump into it!

The twist this time is going to be that the same meme answers how I feel about all of them. Speaking of which, here it is!

1: Welcome to being a woman/man!

File this one under "statements that the person saying almost always thinks is correct when it's actually incredibly invalidating".

How? I'm glad you asked.

Everyone's gender journey is different and some people do, indeed, think of themselves as their AGAB (assigned gender at birth) until they transition. But I'm not like that and, from what I can tell, this is common.

I was never my AGAB and was always my non-binary self. I just didn't have the vocabulary or tools to understand that for a good amount of my life. When I did eventually figure it out, it wasn't that I was "becoming" a certain gender (or however people want to phrase it). I always was and, now knowing that, was on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.

So being told "welcome" insinuates that I wasn't my actual gender for a good amount of my life when I was. And if you tell me this, I know that you don't understand that.

2: Well, I'm trans (or have a trans friend), so it's fine that I said that.

Then you should know better! I mean, we all have a learning curve we can't be held responsible for and Lord knows I've said some things that, in hindsight, were not chill, but this statement is direct evidence that you aren't on that curve and are instead allowing yourself to wallow in problematic waters.

3: Yeah, but biology says...

It's amazing to me how many people who have clearly not thought about gender outside the talking points they have been fed somehow still feel qualified to tell me that the experience I live every day is somehow incorrect.

I'm deeply familiar with my biology. To the degree I've modified it in several advanced ways (and not all of them having to do with my gender journey).

But this statement is a red herring. It pretends to root itself in "reality" but then tries to use that alleged "reality" to fit people neatly into the boxes the gender binary has provided that have NO root in any kind of biology.