On Asking For Help

I hate asking for help. It's the worst.

First, you find yourself in a position where you actually need help. That's frustrating on its own. I like being able to be in control of my life without a direct external influence. I never want to be in a position that I need help. Yet I've found myself there a few times (as we all have).

Then, you have to figure out who to ask for help. Do you approach an institution? Or can you resolve the problem by keeping it to individuals? Who is in a position where they can even help? Will that person even believe that you need help or are they just going to lecture you? Are you just screwed?

And that's just getting to the point where you actually ask.

Pictured: Often, asking for help takes away from the time and attention you could just use to get out of whatever issue you find yourself in.

But getting help from other people is just as much a part of living as breathing. We are quite literally born helpless and require constant care from others if we plan to survive past infancy. Here are a few tips for finding the best help you can.

1: Listen to Your Friends

As a rule, if your friends are telling you that you need help, chances are they are right. But that's besides the point.

But, once you realize you're going to need help, opening the situation up to those closest to you can be a great first step. You're surrounded by people who want the best for you. No matter what is said, keep that in mind.

If you can swing it, it's also helpful to listen to your friends that are removed from the immediate situation you find yourself in. They likely aren't going to be able to offer direct assistance due to a lack of familiarity with whatever you find yourself in, but they will offer a perspective on the matter that is completely untainted from how you see it.

2: Recognize Motives

Everyone has an ego with their story. Knowing who you are in each of those stories can be invaluable in figuring out who is most likely to come through for you.

This goes for professional help too. If anything, doubly so as you've introduced a disconnect between you and the person helping you. Professionals are an invaluable resource, but taking care of you is their job, with all the baggage that comes along with that.

3: You Shouldn't Have to Beg

It will become obvious relatively quickly whether someone is actually going to help or not. If you find that that person will not be the help you had hoped they would be, find a way to disconnect and move on. You'll rarely be able to talk someone into helping you that has already made up their mind. It's not worth your precious time and energy.

4: Take Your Meds (Or At Least Try Them)

It's no secret that I hate being medicated. Indeed, I got to the point where I was medicated against my will. My meds dull reality and what I experience, regularly get in the way of expanding my magical practice, and otherwise just suck. Yet I still take them. Why? Well...

First, I have to remember that the doctors who prescribe them are not my enemy. They're more like friends that don't really understand what you're going through. They see my issues through certain labels they've been taught. But they are trying to help.

Next, I remember that everything is a tool, and my meds are no exception. They are a tool to directly influence my brain chemistry. At the end of the day, I am the one who is in control of using them.

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Hope this helps!