The 7 People You'll Run Into At Ritual

If you know me, you know I am both (i) a magical practitioner and (ii) have a lot of responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is being a representative of my primary coven at various rituals held in NYC and beyond, mainly just by being there and being myself. I don't really attend any single place regularly, but there are definitely places I know (and am known) better than others.

One thing that has consistently floored me is the level of openness that is usually at these events (exceptions exist, but are rare in my experience). No matter your familiarity with the community or the craft, I could not ask for a more welcoming group. I'd highly recommend that any magical practitioner seek out your community; it is extraordinarily empowering.

Pictured: Yours truly at a recent Samhain event. If you know you know.

Though all magical practitioners are unique, as with any group of people, you begin to see patterns and archetypes emerge. I hope you enjoy this semi-satirical look at some of the folks you'll find.

EDIT: I initially posted this a little while ago and shared it with some magical friends I have in the city. They each seemed to miss the point of this post, with one saying that it sounded "toxic" while the other thought that I despised everyone I was describing. This is not what I was going for and, if multiple people took it the wrong way, that's on me for not writing as clearly as I could. So, to be clear, this is meant to be a love letter to the coven communities in NYC that I've visited (and, not to spoil the ending, I see myself in each of the people I'm describing). To make this even more clear, I've added a brief "Why I love this person" to each. I also want to add that (i) this is not a reflection of any specific group as this is an amalgamation of my various experiences and (ii) I have, indeed, met each of these folks multiple times at different events.

1. The Deluded

You try to be accommodating and deferential when it comes to others' practices and beliefs, but this person seems to believe in certain things to a worrying degree. Whether that be truly thinking that they alone are keeping the world from ending or that they are the reincarnation of a specific deity, you can't help but be a touch nervous. You also get the feeling that you're being talked at more than you are being talked to and that they are disappointed that you haven't dropped to your knees in reverence yet.

Why I love this Person: To become a magical practitioner is to use your own faith as a tool to shape the world. For the most part, you're doomed to hide most of these pieces of you from the world so you don't end up locked in a psych ward. Or maybe that's just me. But ritual is one of the few places you can talk about and truly embody your belief system without (much) judgement. Each time I meet this person, I remind myself about the "crazy" belief systems I have. Plus, there's a refreshing kind of honesty with this individual as they don't care what the world thinks about them and are just living their truth. It's inspiring.

2. The Baby

Wide eyed and full of wonder, this is their first ritual outside of their bedroom, like, ever. Saluting the corners? What's that? What is this "so mote it be" nonsense? Everyone's happy to see a new face at the ritual, but surely you couldn't have been that clueless at your first ritual, right? (Spoiler, you were).

Why I love this Person: It's always amazing meeting new people in the craft and it's a reminder that everyone, no matter how experienced and known, once was at their very first ritual. Taking the step from individual practice to meeting with others takes a level of courage that experienced ritual-goers tend to forget. It's also inspiring.

3. The Respected

You hear the whispers about them before you meet them. "Oh, did you hear? So and so is here." They've been practicing in the community for at least 30 years and it seems like everyone but you know who they are. You feel weird approaching, like you needed to make an appointment first. When you eventually work up the nerve to talk to them, they are actually one of the loveliest people you've ever met, though you aren't sure if you made an impression. They must meet so many people at these things.

Why I love this Person: I wasn't facetious when I said they are a lovely person. And I can't hold it against anyone for not remembering everyone they meet when they meet so many folks. This can also be a glimpse into the future for the faithful practitioner; a view of what one's future holds if they stick with their craft. I've been using the term "inspiring" a lot, so I'm going to start using synonyms. It's encouraging.

4. The Explainer

You take a seat with your libations and you start up a conversation with someone across from you. As you begin to talk, they start to tell you that your magical name doesn't actually mean what you know it means. While it's tempted to get frustrated, it's more effective to tune out as they proceed to lecture you about your own practice.

Why I love this Person: When you inadvertently correct this person, you are given the opportunity to crystalize your practice and what you believe in ways you may have never done without this opportunity. If you're doing it right, you may even surprise yourself as to what you think deep down. And you have this person to thank for making you put your feelings to words in this manner.

Plus, this rigmarole is a great exercise in will; religions have no shortage of people who are paid to tell you what you should believe. This conversation becomes invaluable practice for dealing with those outside the craft who are a lot less friendly about telling you what you can and cannot believe.

It's moving.

5. The Researched

Every statement they have is backed up by some kind of external source. What do you mean you haven't heard of this random esoteric teacher from the 8th century? Are you illiterate? While you pick up a few things to research when you get home, you can't shake the feeling that this person is afraid to have an opinion of their own.

Why I love this Person: You can learn something from anyone if you listen enough. The amount of knowledge this person holds is nothing short of breathtaking. It's also a reminder that knowledge holds a very different place in everyone's practice. Where some lean more on their daring and will (like yours truly), others truly want to look before they leap (to the degree they can). They're all different and valid ways at approaching the craft and having this conversation will remind you of that fact. Plus, now you know someone who may have an answer to those hard-to-research questions. It's stirring.

6. The Silent

You don't think you've seen them speak to a single person here; not even a hello. Are they shy? Trying to do a challenge? Not interested in conversation with mere mortals? The possibilities are endless.

Why I love this Person: I can always respect commitment to the bit. As I learned during my brushes with muteness (see here and here if you want to read more), silence is difficult. To all who are able to wield it, I hope to be able to do that someday. It's motivating.

7. You

It's a hodge podge of people and beliefs and, somehow, you found your way here. What that says about you, you have a lifetime to find out. As you begin to attend more and more of these events, one thing is clear: You've found a community that you resonate with. Maybe these folks are the misfits and freaks of the world but so are you. And who is to say who the crazy ones are anyway?

Why I love this Person: This path has taught me self-love like I've never been able to find. To anyone who constantly finds themselves cast aside, it can be easily to internalize some terrible self-loathing. I know I did. Witchcraft attracts those of us who have had our agency minimized by others and meeting others like you is one of the most empowering things you can do.

And the more you see in others, the more you see yourself. Funny how that works. I know I've been the above people on different occasions, some of which I cringe at in hindsight. But I've been better for each interaction. So I owe them all a debt of gratitude. I hope the revised version of this article got that across.

Pictured: A lovely midsummer ritual in Central Park. If you know you know.