LGB to the T

Despite what you may think, the ever expanding acronym LGBTQIA+ does not just encapsulate sexuality. Indeed, some have proposed the much neater acronym GSRM (gender, sexuality, or romantic minority) to better encapsulate the other ideas that are found within LGBTQ spaces.

These three different spectrums, while related, are quite different from one another. There are enough similarities in that experience (e.g., all can involve "coming out" to your loved ones) that it makes sense for them to be grouped together, but it is important not to lose the distinctions between them.

Pictured: This is a queer space. Schmoopy schmoopy doopy y'all!

At this point in my journey, I can affirmatively say that I'm definitely non-binary and sexually queer (I have previously gravitated towards the "pansexual" label, but I honestly am still not completely sure). I also have no idea where I fall on the romantic spectrum. But I thought it might be interesting as to point out some differences in the experiences that I've encountered.

1: Who you come out to can differ

Coming out as to your sexuality and gender are completely different beasts, as almost everyone you encounter interacts with your gender in some way but fewer will ever know your sexuality. When I first came out as trans, I had to basically tell everyone who was involved in my life immediately as I was going to start showing up to things in dresses and whatnot whereas I have told an incredibly small number of people as to my explorations in sexuality. The difference in how much control you have over your coming out varies wildly.

This also changed as I moved further into my transition. Now, when I meet people and I am with my spouse, we will "come out" as gay and people will assume we are both cis women (and I may never come out as trans).

This is probably a more personal note, as I'm sure there are times that someone has to sexually come out to a large group of people at once. But I do feel like the nature of each spectrum lends itself to different kinds of coming out.

2: Overlap is common, but not required

There are straight trans people and gay cis people. Being on one spectrum does not guarantee being on another.

Sometimes, one will impact the other. For instance, when I came out as trans, it basically meant that I was now in a same-sex relationship and, provided I was still happy with that relationship (which I very much am) meant I effectively had to be somewhere on the sexuality spectrum.

3: Exploring each aspect differs

What it looks like to explore your gender, sexuality and romantic side look completely different. Pretty self explanatory. I don't feel like explaining this one, as it's probably just easier for you to think about it. But I wanted to say it.

Each journey has its own milestones. I remember some of the first times I tried on dresses and other clothing not made for my assigned gender as the beginning of my gender journey while I also remember the first time I saw someone who presented as male as attractive. Fun times.

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As always, I'd encourage anyone who feels like there is something to uncover to delve into those feelings. It's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. Best of luck on your journey(s)!

Pictured: Be you! Be amazing! (Even if you figure out that you're cis, straight, and monoromantic, that's just as awesome!)